August 9, 2006

• the job is eating my life but I kinda love it/role-playing with Will

  It’s not so much that I’m working a lot of extra hours, but I’m putting
  my whole self into this job.  And we’re heading into a really
  insane season.  We are publishing a ridiculous number of books
  this fall, and five were just added to 12/28, to boost our 2006 figures
  somehow, and we were already pubbing eight titles that day. 
  Granted, a few of them are paperback reprints, but still.  We have
  only three publicists, and that’s counting Ben, who’s also an editor
  and publicity director, and me, who’s also Ben’s assistant. 

  I’m going to visit my old friend in Jersey this weekend, the one who
  isn’t Laurel, first time I’ve seen her in a few years.  Strictly a
  catch-up visit.  Leaving Leo at home for this one.  But Leo’s
  coming with me to Hannah’s on the 25th, which is the end of our
  vacation week together.

  That writer guy wasn’t for me.  Too shallow and too damaged, tho I
  still like & admire him for being talented, interesting and
  funny.  Leo is very needy, still, and driving me a little crazy as
  he often does when money is tough.  Money has been tough because
  our fridge is nearly dead and we basically have been ordering in nine
  meals a week, which is killing our money.  We’re a little over a
  week away from buying a new fridge.  I get paid on the 15th and
  we’re going to Sears on the 19th and hope we can get it delivered
  before the 25th, when we’re on vacation.  Then there will be much
  shopping, cooking, and taking of lunch.

  Will and I are finding our way back together, in fits and starts. 
  We’ve agreed to an “as ourselves” date a week from Friday, tho he’s
  still trying to plan all the moves ahead of time.  We’ve had
  lunches, talked some, and I’m starting to experience moments, just
  flashes, of affection again.  This had been absent for a time, and
  whether it was really gone or whether I was just doing a damned good
  job of suppressing it, I can’t say.  Don’t know. 
  Did someone ask if Will and I liked to role-play?  ooh, you gotta
  read back to over a year ago, when he and I broke up for eight months,
  but before that, there’s a couple of years of way serious role-playing
  pretty meticulously chronicled.  In brief, he has very specific,
  vanilla sex with his wife, so that’s one thing we don’t do.  We’re
  mostly pretty much Dom/sub, tho we’ve reversed it here and there. 
  He’s very fixated on “forced” blowjobs/face-fucking, and we both love
  it when he butt-fucks me.  So we generally make up a scenario that
  leads us to that kind of thing.  One we’ve repeated is “The
  Strange Man,” where I’m me and Will plays the strange man, someone Will
  has lent me out to, and I’m to obey him absolutely.  There’s one I
  love where we’re a teenage couple who finally get to make out in a
  bedroom when someone’s parents are out.  I connect heavily with
  horny teenagers.  A classic is The Shady Masseur, which I’m sure I
  don’t have to explain.  There’s one that involves a pony that Will
  carried around for many years before he finally got to do it, involving
  a cute little pony and a sadistic vet who also happens to love sucking
  pony dick.  I really loved that he shared something so out-there
  with me, and I got very enthusiastic about it, and it was quite
  memorable.  There’s also one where I’m a hooker named Cherie (I
  have a nice voice for that one, soft and a little southern). 
  Actually, when we were having lunch the other day, and were talking
  about the just-ourselves session, I said, “I thought up a good one, for
  some other time:  The Passed-Out Prom Date.”  He just lit
  right up.

  I have to go to bed soon.  Never enough time.

  Oh, but I did think I should at least list some of the books I’ve read lately:

  The Memory Keeper’s Daughter by I don’t remember but it’s the #1 paperback on the Times bestseller list
  Persian Girls by Namid Rachlin

  That’s a little pathetic that I’m not remembering what I read before
  Memory Keeper’s Daughter.  The books are in the room where Leo’s
  asleep.  But I’m about to finish Persian Girls (both of those
  books are excellent).  Oh, I also read that Jeans book that just
  came out.  I do end up getting access to almost anything I want
  from our publishing house, tho not always right away.  I even
  score things from other houses, but not regularly.  (I got a
  galley of Stephen King’s next novel today, the one pubbing in
  October.  I consider that a biggie.)

  Oh — I also read Pizza Face by Ken Siman, which I also liked.

  • 11:45 pm
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