I decided that if I was going to get together with Will this past Friday, that I would give it a chance to work.  The last couple of times, or at least the last time, I think I went it expecting it not to work out, or not wanting it to.  But I did want it to be worthwhile this time, and at least some fun.  One thing I did do was to take a clonopin before going to meet him.  (I’ve had a prescription for them, for anxiety, for a couple of months.  I was a little afraid I might abuse them, but I’ve actually only been taking them as needed, usually when I’m feeling overwhelmed at work — like when I’m about the burst into tears — and they’ve been useful.) 

Also, I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that if some love and affection does exist between th two of us, sex is not where it’s going to be expressed.  Will keeps that all good and separate. But what we did have, and it was very pleasant, was a deep knowledge of each other’s sexual selves. 

We had decided sometime back that the next time would be done as ourselves, without any scripting, which seemed to work just fine.  It was a lot like dancing with a familiar partner, each of us knowing where the other would move next, and rising to connect with that movement.  So it was pretty well smooth and pleasing to both of us. 

The weekend was pretty quiet; really cold out, and I mostly stayed in.  It’s even colder today.  I’m going to the doctor this morning, a check-up I’m a bit late for, and I’m somewhat toying with the idea of not going in. I have to go to the doctor, but it’s seven degrees out.  Feh.

I dunno how much of a friendship I struck up with David.  I dunno how attached I am to Bobby, who says very openly that he considers a friend, but when he says that, I feel like it’s something more.  I dunno how I feel about Will at this point; we’re making plans to go to the convention in March, and are having our first assignation in quite a while later today.  I dunno what kind of shape my sex drive is in, but I guess I’ll find out.

Leo and I are up and down…he’s stressed about work (as usual) and also about his parents, who are both clearly starting to decline.  He’s had to take more responsibility for them, making sure he calls every day and gets over there at least once a week to help out with some chores and shopping.  Responsibility is something he doesn’t respond well to.  He’s a worrier, very neurotic in that respect, not unlike his mom.  But now that he’s on my insurance, he’s taking some steps to get back into therapy, plus made a lot of positive noises when I talked about TM.  (This led me to ask Bobby if Leo could possibly be comped for training as well, and it looks like that’s going to happen.)  But he also hasn’t stopped smoking cigarettes yet, and is getting generally sloppy about taking care of his health.

I’m mostly good about my health:  avoiding sugar, staying hydrated, taking my meds, taking care of my feet, etc.  Haven’t been getting to the gym much lately, and haven’t lost much weight.  (The latter, I think, is largely due to the fact that in the absence of sweets, I tend to snack on nuts.)

Laurel got caught by her husband, as I may or may not have mentioned.  She was having an extramarital affair, but not in the smartest way:  the guy was her boss (tho he’s since left the workplace), and she really convinced herself that she was being careful, but she absolutely was not.  She had gotten a web-based e-mail account to exchange sweet nothings with her BF, and left an open window on that account minimized on her home computer when her husband was at home.  Duh.  That’s how she got caught.  Now they’re doing counseling and she’s terribly unhappy.  She seemed to have convinced herself that her husband had practically given her permission, which was of course nonsense. 

Work goes well, it seems to me.  I’m playing catch-up with all of the books I set aside when I was working so intensely on Lynch.  Lynch has gotten ridiculous amounts of press and the book is selling quite nicely.  Unfortunately, the New York Times decided to track it in “advice and how-to” rather than general non-fiction, so we’re not going to chart there (although we don’t yet have near-chart numbers even for general non-fiction).  But we’ve been charting in the LA Times for two weeks now (#8, then #6).  Amazon numbers are good.  I can’t complain. 

Plus, David has agreed to do more book publicity when he gets back from Europe (about 4-5 weeks), so it looks like we’ll do a mini close-to-home tour to Portland, SF (again) and LA.  (The nice pic of him is a self-portrait, which has been our jacket and publicity photo.)

I’m getting to be a pretty good publicist, I think, learning more stuff all the time.  I’m still a mite shy about cold-calling…I’m so much more comfortable using e-mail than making a phone pitch.  But the phone pitches tend to go well, when I get get myself to do them.